Ever since I can remember, I wanted to be married and have a family. I was never the girl who held the typical dreams and aspirations of business successes. Instead, I dreamt of packing lunches, taxiing children around, and running errands. I desire to raise my children in Christ, enjoy a loving marriage, and run a well-organized household. And to be quite honest, I think God wants me to focus the gifts He gave me at home. To some, that may sound extremely mundane, but I love taking care of people and maintaining an orderly life. In fact, one of my secret pleasures is organizing. Seriously. I don’t know how many hours I’ve wasted writing and rewriting lists, categorizing emails, and recording appointments in my calendar.
That being said, I still struggle with the thought of giving up the pursuit of riches. I worked incredibly hard in college to graduate with honors in accounting. I spent the better part of a year attending accounting socials and interviews to obtain an internship with a major firm. I spent three months as an intern working, on average, 75 hours per week. I accepted a job offer from one of the top 4 public accounting firms in the world. And now I’m in graduate school getting my Masters in Accounting so I can sit for the CPA exam in the fall and begin working that winter.
All of this for something I don't love! I don’t find it fulfilling and the only positive thing I see is the financial security my substantial salary could provide a family. But at this point, I have made such a large investment in this chosen career path that I grimace at the thought of giving it all up. Not because I will miss accounting, but because I will have worked so hard, just to give it all up and forgo the worldly wealth it would bring. As a Christian, my mind immediately points me to 1 Timothy 6:6-11. I know that my desire should not be for worldly wealth. I know that I should trust God to provide me with everything needed for my family. But sometimes I must remind myself that life is not just an accumulation of belongings despite popular culture constantly bombarding me with messages saying otherwise.
I consistently pray that God will change my heart; that I will one day embrace a new way to define success. That I will not settle for a life in which God has not called me, but will maintain the courage to strive for the fulfillment that I can only imagine will accompany the life that Christ leads me to. I long for the day that I have completely surrendered this area of my life and begin to completely trust in Him!
Showing posts with label Life. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Life. Show all posts
Wednesday, April 29, 2009
Monday, March 2, 2009
God's Sovereignty vs. Man's Responsibility
In recent weeks, I have been wrestling to reconcile God’s sovereignty to human responsibility. God’s sovereignty is declared throughout the Bible (Luke 18:27 and 1:37, John 3:27 and 6:44 and 15:16, Ephesians 1:4-5). However, the Bible is also clear that man has the ability to make choices and is, consequently, responsible for those choices (Genesis 3, Proverbs 22:8 and 14:23 and 6:32 and 11:18, Hosea 10:12, Job 4:8…and the list goes on). But where do these two truths intersect? How does God’s control not supersede the free will of man? It seems, at first glance, that one can not believe both of these biblical truths. That for one to be true, the other must be false. After all, if God is sovereign over man’s actions, how can man be blamed for his sin? If God is sovereign, why do we make choices? Why try to be good? Why pray? Why evangelize?
It occurred to me that this attitude of indifferent fatalism – the view that God controls everything, therefore we can do nothing – is flawed and logically impossible, for “doing nothing” is a choice within itself! When presented with alternatives, which we constantly are, we are forced to make a choices. If someone offers me a red shirt or a blue shirt, there are four possible results: the red shirt, the blue shirt, both or neither. Even refusing to make the decision, resulting in neither shirt, is a choice in and of itself. Therefore, it is impossible not to make choices and I cannot use God’s sovereignty as justification to sin.
Furthermore, because we must choose to either live righteously or live immorally, we can’t conclude that God’s sovereignty would logically lead to a sinful life instead of a godly one.
Christians do not pray in an effort to coerce or control God, but rather as an expression of one’s own inadequacy and dependency on God. If God is sovereign and predestines, then perhaps the prayer is just as much predestined as is the outcome of that prayer. Furthermore, God has graciously invited us into a relationship with Him which can only be fostered through prayer. God commands us to pray (1 Thes. 5:17) and so it was modeled to us by Christ (Mark 1:35, Luke 5:15-16). If Jesus, who is God, prayed to His Father, how much more do I need to be in prayer with my Father?
In order for me to understand the purpose that evangelism serves, I must first understand what evangelism is not. First, evangelism is not man convincing others of God’s existence. Rather it is God who opens and softens our heart to him, for apart from God, man is willfully ignorant of these things (2 Peter 3:5). Second, evangelism is not persuading man of his sinfulness. Again, it is God himself who convicts man of his sin. Lastly, we cannot convince man of his need for faith in the Savior. We can speak of our own experiences and the importance of Christ in our lives, but it is God alone who births these works in man. Although we cannot, by our own merit, bring others to Christ, we can be used as tools to lead unbelievers to Christ (1 Cor 3:6-8). God commands us in Scripture to evangelize (Matt 28:19-20, Acts 1:8, 1 Thes. 2:4) and offers us guidance on what this looks like. First, we should participate in intercessory prayer for other’s (Ezekiel 22:30-31, Exodus 32:7-14). Second, we must live out our faith, being an example for others. We are Christ’s ambassadors and have the opportunity to show other’s Christ through our behavior (2 Corinthians 5:20). Lastly, we must verbally share our faith (1 Peter 3:15, Matt 28:19-20).
J.I. Packer stated as the root cause for rejecting the validity of these two truths, “a reluctance to recognize the existence of mystery and to let God be wiser than men, and a consequent subjecting of Scripture to the supposed demands of human logic.” After much research and prayer, I have concluded that, though I do not completely understand the subject of God’s sovereignty and human responsibility, I will not let it destroy my peace. God has revealed to us, through His word, all that we need to know (Deuteronomy 29:29). The rest is for Him to know. God spoke through his prophet Isaiah, “For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are My ways higher than your ways, and My thoughts than your thoughts” (Isa. 55:9). Not only will I not let it destroy my peace, but I will (try to) delight in God’s mystery. Who am I to understand the holy God?
It occurred to me that this attitude of indifferent fatalism – the view that God controls everything, therefore we can do nothing – is flawed and logically impossible, for “doing nothing” is a choice within itself! When presented with alternatives, which we constantly are, we are forced to make a choices. If someone offers me a red shirt or a blue shirt, there are four possible results: the red shirt, the blue shirt, both or neither. Even refusing to make the decision, resulting in neither shirt, is a choice in and of itself. Therefore, it is impossible not to make choices and I cannot use God’s sovereignty as justification to sin.
Furthermore, because we must choose to either live righteously or live immorally, we can’t conclude that God’s sovereignty would logically lead to a sinful life instead of a godly one.
Christians do not pray in an effort to coerce or control God, but rather as an expression of one’s own inadequacy and dependency on God. If God is sovereign and predestines, then perhaps the prayer is just as much predestined as is the outcome of that prayer. Furthermore, God has graciously invited us into a relationship with Him which can only be fostered through prayer. God commands us to pray (1 Thes. 5:17) and so it was modeled to us by Christ (Mark 1:35, Luke 5:15-16). If Jesus, who is God, prayed to His Father, how much more do I need to be in prayer with my Father?
In order for me to understand the purpose that evangelism serves, I must first understand what evangelism is not. First, evangelism is not man convincing others of God’s existence. Rather it is God who opens and softens our heart to him, for apart from God, man is willfully ignorant of these things (2 Peter 3:5). Second, evangelism is not persuading man of his sinfulness. Again, it is God himself who convicts man of his sin. Lastly, we cannot convince man of his need for faith in the Savior. We can speak of our own experiences and the importance of Christ in our lives, but it is God alone who births these works in man. Although we cannot, by our own merit, bring others to Christ, we can be used as tools to lead unbelievers to Christ (1 Cor 3:6-8). God commands us in Scripture to evangelize (Matt 28:19-20, Acts 1:8, 1 Thes. 2:4) and offers us guidance on what this looks like. First, we should participate in intercessory prayer for other’s (Ezekiel 22:30-31, Exodus 32:7-14). Second, we must live out our faith, being an example for others. We are Christ’s ambassadors and have the opportunity to show other’s Christ through our behavior (2 Corinthians 5:20). Lastly, we must verbally share our faith (1 Peter 3:15, Matt 28:19-20).
J.I. Packer stated as the root cause for rejecting the validity of these two truths, “a reluctance to recognize the existence of mystery and to let God be wiser than men, and a consequent subjecting of Scripture to the supposed demands of human logic.” After much research and prayer, I have concluded that, though I do not completely understand the subject of God’s sovereignty and human responsibility, I will not let it destroy my peace. God has revealed to us, through His word, all that we need to know (Deuteronomy 29:29). The rest is for Him to know. God spoke through his prophet Isaiah, “For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are My ways higher than your ways, and My thoughts than your thoughts” (Isa. 55:9). Not only will I not let it destroy my peace, but I will (try to) delight in God’s mystery. Who am I to understand the holy God?
Thursday, January 29, 2009
Psalm 46:10
Life is busy. There are endless decisions to make, errands to run, and work to complete. Every time I cross one item off my to-do list, I add two more. Sometimes I feel like I am on a never-ending treadmill that is completely draining. I have come to the realization that life is never going to not be busy. Even the time I spend with God often feels rushed. I have to choose to make time for the things that are most important to me. If I don’t, no one else will. Recently I caught a glimpse of what it is like to find peace while just being still in God’s presence and I crave more.
After working out one morning, I sat on a sidewalk near my house with worship music playing softly in the background. I just sat there reflecting on God’s grace, love and kindness. It was an amazing feeling. For a brief time, I did not worry about the things going on around me and enjoyed not feeling the need to be in control. This would have been near impossible for me in the recent past. Being still made me feel anxious and unproductive. I would try to sit on my bed and not think of anything, but my mind would always wander to the mountain of “to-do’s” waiting to be done. Although I am not an expert (yet), I am learning how to just enjoy being with God.
God commands us to “Be still, and know that I am God”(Psalm 46:10). The psalmists were fully aware of the earthly trials and distractions that humans encounter and the uncertainties of life (Psalm 46: 2-3). Spiritual peace does not come from the absence of other things to think and worry about. God does not promise a trouble or stress-free life when following Christ. Instead, spiritual peace comes from a sense of knowing that God is in control and that He has intervened on our behalf. He alone can fully and completely satisfy our every need and desire.
So when the craziness of life threatens my sanity and I am uncertain about life decisions, I will try to remember to be still and bring my life’s stress to God. Jesus conquered death…so He can certainly handle any difficulty that I might be facing.
After working out one morning, I sat on a sidewalk near my house with worship music playing softly in the background. I just sat there reflecting on God’s grace, love and kindness. It was an amazing feeling. For a brief time, I did not worry about the things going on around me and enjoyed not feeling the need to be in control. This would have been near impossible for me in the recent past. Being still made me feel anxious and unproductive. I would try to sit on my bed and not think of anything, but my mind would always wander to the mountain of “to-do’s” waiting to be done. Although I am not an expert (yet), I am learning how to just enjoy being with God.
God commands us to “Be still, and know that I am God”(Psalm 46:10). The psalmists were fully aware of the earthly trials and distractions that humans encounter and the uncertainties of life (Psalm 46: 2-3). Spiritual peace does not come from the absence of other things to think and worry about. God does not promise a trouble or stress-free life when following Christ. Instead, spiritual peace comes from a sense of knowing that God is in control and that He has intervened on our behalf. He alone can fully and completely satisfy our every need and desire.
So when the craziness of life threatens my sanity and I am uncertain about life decisions, I will try to remember to be still and bring my life’s stress to God. Jesus conquered death…so He can certainly handle any difficulty that I might be facing.
Thursday, December 18, 2008
Be Salty.
“Be wise in the way you act towards outsiders; make the most of every opportunity. Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone.” - Colossians 4: 5-6
Paul warns us to be particular in our exchanges with non-believers. He says that we should take advantage of every opportunity to share Christ with the utmost care. I love that Paul says our conversations with non-believers (and believers, for that matter) should be “seasoned with salt.” Today, salt is used to add flavor to food, but in Paul’s day it was used as a preservative. Although today’s use of salt would still work as a metaphor (as in be tasteful with your words), Paul is telling us to choose words which will prevent moral decay.
This message is so important because Christians are often watched and judged more closely than non-believers. We all know people who have written-off Christianity due to bad experiences they’ve had with Christians. As Christ-followers, we need to remember that we are ambassadors for Christ. We are His ears, mouth, eyes, etc. Everything we do and say reflects our Heavenly Father. While we aren’t perfect, we ought to be thoughtful in both the actions and words we choose. Are we choosing words that are salty and will lead others to know Christ? Or are we choosing destructive, unkind, vulgar words that will make an incorrect lasting impression on Him?
Paul warns us to be particular in our exchanges with non-believers. He says that we should take advantage of every opportunity to share Christ with the utmost care. I love that Paul says our conversations with non-believers (and believers, for that matter) should be “seasoned with salt.” Today, salt is used to add flavor to food, but in Paul’s day it was used as a preservative. Although today’s use of salt would still work as a metaphor (as in be tasteful with your words), Paul is telling us to choose words which will prevent moral decay.
This message is so important because Christians are often watched and judged more closely than non-believers. We all know people who have written-off Christianity due to bad experiences they’ve had with Christians. As Christ-followers, we need to remember that we are ambassadors for Christ. We are His ears, mouth, eyes, etc. Everything we do and say reflects our Heavenly Father. While we aren’t perfect, we ought to be thoughtful in both the actions and words we choose. Are we choosing words that are salty and will lead others to know Christ? Or are we choosing destructive, unkind, vulgar words that will make an incorrect lasting impression on Him?
Monday, December 15, 2008
A Lesson on Forgiveness
I’ve never particularly had a problem forgiving other people. I find the negativity of disliking people exhausting and only more exhausting is the continuous effort involved in holding grudges. However, when I mess up, it’s a different story. I find it very difficult to forgive myself. Instead of clinging to God’s grace, I work tirelessly to convince myself that God is going to withhold blessings or punish me in some manner. Consequently, I end up feeling unworthy to come before God, rather than acknowledging that I too, am in need of a Savior. Recently, I read “Every Woman’s Battle” by Shannon Ethridge in which the author offered these sobering words:
“Do you know what you are saying about the blood that Jesus shed for you when you refuse to forgive yourself for your past? You are saying that His blood wasn’t good enough for you. It didn’t have enough power to cleanse you.”
Wow. I had never thought about it this way. I always imagined God feeling better that I couldn’t forgive myself, and hopefully having pity on me. I imagined His thinking, “She’s too hard on herself.” Rather, I’ve come to realize that I am insulting my Heavenly Father by imagining He is not big enough to wash me clean. Ethridge went on to illustrate Jesus opening a prison door and allowing the prisoner the choice to walk out. He offers forgiveness to all who are bound by the chains of sin. However, each must choose to accept freedom for themselves.
In a society where almost nothing is free, it’s hard to accept this gift without feeling the need for repayment. I usually promise future good deeds. But this week, I’m going to make a change. I’m not setting myself up for failure by expecting a total transformation of my old ways, but I’m making a small step in the hope that with each step, I get closer to a new me. This week, I will bring my sins immediately to Christ and ask forgiveness, rather than wallowing in shame. I will remind myself daily that “righteousness from God comes through faith in Jesus Christ to all who believe. There is no difference, for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, and are justified freely by His grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus” (Romans 3:22-24). This week I will not offer God my miserably inadequate works in exchange for forgiveness, but will attempt to accept it both freely and gratefully.
“Do you know what you are saying about the blood that Jesus shed for you when you refuse to forgive yourself for your past? You are saying that His blood wasn’t good enough for you. It didn’t have enough power to cleanse you.”
Wow. I had never thought about it this way. I always imagined God feeling better that I couldn’t forgive myself, and hopefully having pity on me. I imagined His thinking, “She’s too hard on herself.” Rather, I’ve come to realize that I am insulting my Heavenly Father by imagining He is not big enough to wash me clean. Ethridge went on to illustrate Jesus opening a prison door and allowing the prisoner the choice to walk out. He offers forgiveness to all who are bound by the chains of sin. However, each must choose to accept freedom for themselves.
In a society where almost nothing is free, it’s hard to accept this gift without feeling the need for repayment. I usually promise future good deeds. But this week, I’m going to make a change. I’m not setting myself up for failure by expecting a total transformation of my old ways, but I’m making a small step in the hope that with each step, I get closer to a new me. This week, I will bring my sins immediately to Christ and ask forgiveness, rather than wallowing in shame. I will remind myself daily that “righteousness from God comes through faith in Jesus Christ to all who believe. There is no difference, for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, and are justified freely by His grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus” (Romans 3:22-24). This week I will not offer God my miserably inadequate works in exchange for forgiveness, but will attempt to accept it both freely and gratefully.
Tuesday, December 9, 2008
It's not about giving more, but about giving for a different reason...
My mom gives me a lot more credit than I deserve. When she initially suggested regularly making muffins for the homeless, I wasn't exactly enthusiastic. After all, I started taking a PB&J sandwich with me to class primarily so I wouldn't feel pressured to give money. I knew exactly what would happen if I started giving out money. I would be broke and the money would likely be used for alcohol or drugs.
Day after day I passed homeless people begging for money. One time I offered something to eat, and received the response, "If it doesn't have alcohol in it, I don't want it." That was irritating. Why should I spend my time and money trying to help people that didn't want to help themselves? I saw myself becoming less and less sensitive to the needs of the homeless and I hated how I felt. I knew in my head that God commands us to feed the hungry, I just didn't feel it in my heart. What happened to me? I used to be so passionate about the less-fortunate. Going to school downtown was sucking the compassion right out of me.
Not so coincidentally, three weeks later God spoke to me through my pastor, Andy Stanley (http://northpoint.org/messages - Confessions of a Fixer). Andy spoke about all the reasons why people give. Some give for the tax deduction or to make themselves feel better, among other reasons. But the reason that resonated with me was to fix a problem or make a situation better. I give to charitable causes because I want to make someone's life better. Not that that's a bad reason to give, but it isn't the primary reason to which we should give. As Christians, we should give because God gives to us, because we want to be like our Father, and because God commands us. God tells us (Isaiah 58:7) to feed the hungry. That means that you feed the hungry...not feed the hungry if they want to cooperate with your plan to fix their lives.
So, I knew what I had to do. I had to feed the homeless. And you know what? As I started feeding them and talking to them, I began to feel more compassionate. I began giving with a glad heart. I felt happy to give, not only to those who are grateful (Luke 6:33), but to those who are unappreciative and those who have no desire to improve their lives.
Day after day I passed homeless people begging for money. One time I offered something to eat, and received the response, "If it doesn't have alcohol in it, I don't want it." That was irritating. Why should I spend my time and money trying to help people that didn't want to help themselves? I saw myself becoming less and less sensitive to the needs of the homeless and I hated how I felt. I knew in my head that God commands us to feed the hungry, I just didn't feel it in my heart. What happened to me? I used to be so passionate about the less-fortunate. Going to school downtown was sucking the compassion right out of me.
Not so coincidentally, three weeks later God spoke to me through my pastor, Andy Stanley (http://northpoint.org/messages - Confessions of a Fixer). Andy spoke about all the reasons why people give. Some give for the tax deduction or to make themselves feel better, among other reasons. But the reason that resonated with me was to fix a problem or make a situation better. I give to charitable causes because I want to make someone's life better. Not that that's a bad reason to give, but it isn't the primary reason to which we should give. As Christians, we should give because God gives to us, because we want to be like our Father, and because God commands us. God tells us (Isaiah 58:7) to feed the hungry. That means that you feed the hungry...not feed the hungry if they want to cooperate with your plan to fix their lives.
So, I knew what I had to do. I had to feed the homeless. And you know what? As I started feeding them and talking to them, I began to feel more compassionate. I began giving with a glad heart. I felt happy to give, not only to those who are grateful (Luke 6:33), but to those who are unappreciative and those who have no desire to improve their lives.
For me, there must be no distinction between the deserving and undeserving, because God made no distinction when He sent His son to die for us all.
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