Ever since I can remember, I wanted to be married and have a family. I was never the girl who held the typical dreams and aspirations of business successes. Instead, I dreamt of packing lunches, taxiing children around, and running errands. I desire to raise my children in Christ, enjoy a loving marriage, and run a well-organized household. And to be quite honest, I think God wants me to focus the gifts He gave me at home. To some, that may sound extremely mundane, but I love taking care of people and maintaining an orderly life. In fact, one of my secret pleasures is organizing. Seriously. I don’t know how many hours I’ve wasted writing and rewriting lists, categorizing emails, and recording appointments in my calendar.
That being said, I still struggle with the thought of giving up the pursuit of riches. I worked incredibly hard in college to graduate with honors in accounting. I spent the better part of a year attending accounting socials and interviews to obtain an internship with a major firm. I spent three months as an intern working, on average, 75 hours per week. I accepted a job offer from one of the top 4 public accounting firms in the world. And now I’m in graduate school getting my Masters in Accounting so I can sit for the CPA exam in the fall and begin working that winter.
All of this for something I don't love! I don’t find it fulfilling and the only positive thing I see is the financial security my substantial salary could provide a family. But at this point, I have made such a large investment in this chosen career path that I grimace at the thought of giving it all up. Not because I will miss accounting, but because I will have worked so hard, just to give it all up and forgo the worldly wealth it would bring. As a Christian, my mind immediately points me to 1 Timothy 6:6-11. I know that my desire should not be for worldly wealth. I know that I should trust God to provide me with everything needed for my family. But sometimes I must remind myself that life is not just an accumulation of belongings despite popular culture constantly bombarding me with messages saying otherwise.
I consistently pray that God will change my heart; that I will one day embrace a new way to define success. That I will not settle for a life in which God has not called me, but will maintain the courage to strive for the fulfillment that I can only imagine will accompany the life that Christ leads me to. I long for the day that I have completely surrendered this area of my life and begin to completely trust in Him!
Wednesday, April 1, 2009
I will be spending two months this summer in Athens, Greece working with a team under full-time missionaries. I will have the opportunity to work with refugees and immigrants, as well as working in drug rehab centers and doing university ministry. I am so excited about this opportunity that God has blessed me with! Please pray that I will be able to fully raise my funds and that God will prepare my heart for this trip. I’ll keep you updated!